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Messy

The duet with Aiza went much better than I thought, am very thankful to the friends/DJs who were there, though I wish more new friends were there too. Aiza was super duper cool, and her musicians were fantastic. Mike, her guitarist, was amazing – he could literally slaughter people with his guitar skills. The concert also gave me a peek into the new company I’m stepping into, and it’s great to know these are very cool-headed and open-minded people to work with.

I love the excitement of not knowing what I’m going to see, but only if I know the particular direction I’m heading. I love the thrill of working things through to get to the other end. I love working hard for it. In fact, I would be so lost if I have nothing to work on and towards. Recently I was quite troubled that I actually went to sign up for the french exam; at one low point, I wondered for what?! But then, it always comes back to pourqoui pas (why not)? And I can’t find any reason.

October is great cos I ate well, played hard, worked hard too. And I kept thinking about the subject of growing old.

My personal observation is that, people grow older, and the side effects are not just physical; psychologically they become more stubborn (maybe cos they believe more in themselves after accumulating all the life experiences), lower risk-taker (why risk what he/she already has?) etc. Sometimes I catch my own mannerism more likely to be found in a teenager than an adult, and truth is, I do feel ashamed sometimes. Then, I will argue with myself: But I don’t work in the corporate world where I have to wear dark or grey office suits and put on my most mature behaviour to get people to trust me or have faith in my abilities. So why should I act as such?

I want to keep my inner child. It’s my compass when I am lost in this world; and when I am on cloud nine, I want it to be fed with curiosity and amazement at each discovery. Aren’t these the joys of living?

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